Freshers week is very often simultaneously one of the best, and worst, weeks of your life. Much alcohol is consumed, lifelong friendships are formed, and you’re liable to have done at least five embarrassing things before the end of the first evening. Whether the first week of independence and university life is amazing or not can often come down to whether freshers is a must have or a bust. Now the dust has settled, we look back on the worst freshers events.
1. University of Stirling
This Student Union threw the ultimate cliché of a ‘Back to School’ themed night, throwing you back into the nightmare of exams and coursework when you just want to have fun. Of course, that alone is not enough to make this list- the actual sin was much, much worse. The act for the night was none other than two member of S Club 7…or should that be S Club 2? Yep, Bradley and Tina were there to entertain those lucky freshers with a DJ set. Sure, there’s no party like an S Club party but do you really want to go to what is essentially a primary school disco past the age of 10?
2. Plymouth University
‘Rock and Roll Bingo’ is an actual event they had on for freshers. Rock. And. Roll. Bingo. If you’re 18 going on 80 I guess this could be the event for you but seriously- how many freshers are going to want to spend an evening playing bingo to Queen? I can only hope drinks were 2 for 1 or something to make it worthwhile for those who went!
3. University of Dundee
When Scott Mills cancelled his DJing the University of Dundee knew they had to pull something amazing out the bag to make up for it. It must have been a hard choice but they finally decided on getting Andy Jordan and Stevie Johnson from Made in Chelsea to turn up. Yeah. I can only gather that they sat in a booth while excited girls took selfies with them which must have made for a thrilling night for all those lucky freshers who attended.
4. Edinburgh University
Don’t even lie, when you were 13 your ringtone was totally ‘Now you’re Gone’ by Basshunter. That song was the coolest to be blasting out your phones tinny speakers on the school bus but let’s be honest, hardly any of us can name another Basshunter hit. Lucky for Edinburgh University then that freshers get to experience all those classic tunes first hand! At least they’re club songs I guess?
5. Kings College London
Four universities, including Kings College London, were subjected to Scouting for Girls this year. Four. Enough is enough- even if their music didn’t all sound the same and the lyrics weren’t just the same two lines repeated endlessly, well, it’s hardly the kind of music to set the club dancing is it? Every year more and more unis seem to make the mistake of getting a band that hasn’t been relevant in years to perform- there’s a reason they’re so cheap to book!
6. Bristol UWE
This one may float your boat but it seems a bit…bizarre? It’s called ‘Cat Face’. Basically the concept is that you paint a cat faces onto your own. That’s it. Just do yourself a tiny little nose and a few whiskers and you’re ready for Cat Face. You don’t even need those cute cat ear headbands- all that’s required is the face, which in itself is weird because if you didn’t know it was Cat Face night it’d be impossible to tell what animal you were meant to be from just the nose and whiskers? The scariest thought is, if they’re basing club nights off of the vague concept of a cat face, what’s next?
7. Leicester University
Blue are performing. As if that wasn’t enough they’re sharing the stage with the Sugababes in a double act. Basically, think back to Top of the Pops cause that’s the lineup they had going at Leicester. Retro acts are cheaper to hire and are thus getting a lot of freshers action lately but can anyone even name 5 Blue songs anymore? It’s time unis stopped skimping on freshers and started hiring some decent acts!
Did your freshers have a horrific freshers week or were you lucky to survive the plague of poor events? All I can say is I hope next year’s freshers don’t have to face some of these acts!