5 Kickstarters That Absolutely Nobody Backed

AFS Team·11 December 2014·4 min read
5 Kickstarters That Absolutely Nobody Backed
Kickstarter is home to its fair share of truly weird money-making schemes as well as legitimate ones. There are wacky and state-of-the-art inventions that really hit it off, shying ever so slightly from their targets. And then there’s everything else. The downright failures that don’t get anywhere because they’re just so totally bonkers. Sometimes there are botched ideas that are better just being left to waste amongst the thousands of other failed endeavours. Punk Burgers Lots of good cooking kickstarters end up thriving because food can be presented in a way that appeals to everyone. Punk-themed burgers? Perhaps not so much. Sometimes a can-do attitude can really sell a product. We all love it when a chef enjoys catering because it ends with an infinitely more satisfying meal. But when the maker admits to not knowing how to cook with a “why not" attitude, it’s hard to take things seriously; especially when they ask for £25 to make a burger for themselves. You’re essentially funding someone’s grocery shopping. Anti-Death Star t-shirts It goes without saying that Star Wars has an impressive community of dedicated fans, not all of whom have the forces of chance on their side. While there have been shockingly successful projects to build real life Death Stars in the past, you may be wondering how something as simple as a t-shirt design could go wrong when aimed towards such a committed fan base. While the slogan: “(s)wear your support" is a genuinely catchy one, the shirt itself doesn't seem too promising. With a design that looks to have been scribbled on Microsoft Paint and a staggering goal of £10,000, perhaps these are not the shirts you’re looking for. Haus Porter We've all dreamt of a future without tedious chores, where everything is run with the push of a button, without the need for endeavour, sweat, or concern. But it seems our faith in tomorrow has dried up. Either that or there’s some other reason why the Haus Porter delivery/home decorating/personal assistant service was a bad idea. Offering a range of skills to make your everyday activities that bit easier, Haus Porter introduces a middleman in app form. Supposedly, you can click a few buttons on your phone and someone will show up at your house to reorganize your junk drawers, deliver you McDonalds, and even ensure your home is being properly cared for while you’re away. Shame this already exists with TaskRabbit. Orbit Animated Series Chronicling the life of ordinary teenager Dave Boulevardez, the Orbit animated series seemed to have quite a lot going for it. The show was planned out with a hyper-detailed premise and strong nostalgic influences from 90s cartoons, but this was also the project’s downfall. It was just another comedy cartoon with an explicitly ordinary set of characters and sketchy animation quality. Those who read through the description are left unfulfilled by the lack of an original touch that is if they bother to read through the great walls of text at all. Christmas Horror Story Finally, at the very end of the list, I pose a closing question: What better way to celebrate the holiday season than with a touch of terror? Kickstarter is packed full of thriller projects, ranging from novels to films. It’s fun to be afraid. While this kickstarter asks for a lofty $2,500 for this chilling tale to be translated into English, one can’t help but wonder whether or not a Christmas-themed horror story really has a place on shelves as a stocking stuffer.