Your child moving away to university is exciting, but it’s also the kind of thing that can have you wondering whether they’ll remember to eat properly, lock the door, do their washing and actually survive without you reminding them of everything.
Want some good news? Most of the things parents worry about are much less scary once you know what support is actually in place. So, here are a few common worries, and the facts that should make you feel a lot better.
“What if they feel completely on their own?”
The reality is that everyone is in the same boat and university might be the first time your child has lived away from home, but they definitely won’t be the only one feeling nervous. Thousands of students arrive every year from all over the world not knowing anyone, trying to remember names and wondering whether it’s too early to ask their flatmates if they want to go for a drink.
Halls, societies, course socials and Freshers’ events are all designed to help students meet people. They might not find their best friends in the first 24 hours but they don’t need to because friendships at university usually happen gradually.
“But will their accommodation actually be safe?”
The reality is that landlords have legal responsibilities so if your child is renting privately in England, landlords have to meet specific safety requirements.
That includes things like:
- Gas safety checks
- Safe electrical systems
- Smoke alarms
- Carbon monoxide alarms where required
- Electrical inspections at least every five years
Different rules apply across Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, but student renters are protected wherever they study.
Whilst many students study in halls for their first year, once they have found a group of people they may decide to start looking for a private house together for their second/third year. Our recent research discovered that priorities are changing amongst this newer generation of students and safety is a major factor taken into account. To help your child look for safe housing, we put together this blog which covers things such as secure entry, CCTV, lighting and what students should look for when viewing accommodation.
“What happens if they’re struggling?”
The reality is that there is much more support than you might think. Universities have teams specifically there to help students when things aren’t going smoothly.
Your child may have access to:
- Wellbeing teams - for mental health, stress and general support.
- Personal tutors - someone within their course they can speak to if academic life becomes overwhelming.
- Accommodation teams - useful if there are problems with their room, flatmates or halls.
- Students’ Unions - to help with housing, money, academic concerns and general university life. They can also sometimes provide career or job-searching support.
Universities in England also now have specific regulatory requirements around how they deal with harassment and sexual misconduct.
“What if they get homesick and want to come home?”
The reality is that homesickness is completely normal and your child can love university and still miss home. They might ring you one evening saying they’re having the best week ever, then call two days later because they miss their own bed, their friends or even the family dog.
Once homesickness strikes, we have a few suggestions that tend to help students, such as things like keeping in touch with family, getting involved socially and making their new room feel more like home.
Sometimes, they just need a bit of time so the best thing you can do is listen first
because you don’t always need to solve the problem immediately.
“They’ve never had to do everything for themselves...”
The reality is that they learn VERY quickly and this is probably the funniest part of the whole transition because one week they’re asking you how long pasta takes to cook and a few months later they’re budgeting, doing food shops, cleaning, travelling alone and somehow making it to lectures without anyone waking them up.
Remember there will obviously be mistakes such as :
- A washing disaster
- At least one questionable dinner
- A lost key
- A phone call beginning with “Quick question...”
- A sudden realisation that food is actually quite expensive
But that’s really how they learn, as university gives them a chance to become independent while still having lots of support around them.
Before you say goodbye...
On move-in day, help them unpack, make sure they’ve got their keys and check they know who to contact if they need help. You’ll probably worry more than they realise, and they’ll probably make more mistakes than they admit. But between their friends, flatmates, university staff, accommodation teams and you at the end of the phone, they’re far from doing it alone.
Chances are, they’ll be absolutely fine.
And yes...
They will eventually work out the washing machine!
