How to be the Perfect Housemate: Top Tips for House sharing
If you’re moving into a shared student house and you’re unsure about how the whole venture is going to play out, then try not to worry. This guide covers everything you need to know about living together, cleaning rules and ultimately, how to be a good housemate.
Similar to living with anyone, basic rules and codes of respect, understanding, politeness and kindness all go a long way to ensure that your house-sharing experience is stress and hassle-free, meaning that you can relax and enjoy your year at university instead of worrying about quarrels with your house-mates.
The basic rules
This blog will cover the following topics:
- Food
- Cleaning
- Privacy
- Drinks
- Sharing supplies
- Security
- Smoking
- Bonding
To share or not to share? That is the question
Firstly, ensure that you respect your flatmates’ belongings, and that includes food unless agreed otherwise. Your number one to maintain a happy household is to ultimately ensure that you do not annoy anybody, and rest assured that taking someone’s food is a definite way to do just that.
So, buy your own food, avoid stealing fresh produce from the fridge and if you would like to use someone’s food, for example, a splash of someone’s milk in your tea, or a piece of of their fruit, then make sure that you ask them before doing so. It might be useful to divide certain cardboard shelves or drawers, or even use coloured baskets or another organising system to differentiate between everyone’s shopping.
Although stealing food is never acceptable, share when you can and try to involve your housemates in activities, cooking and eating meals together, you could even host cooking competitions and dinner parties as something to do together.
The elephant in the room
While pinching each other's flatmates’ food is definitely a big rule breaker, the main cause of household student disputes is nearly always the issues surrounding cleaning.
To keep a happy household, it is important to establish everyone’s definition of ‘clean’ at the start of the tenancy. This way, you can agree on a common ground to avoid any arguments. The simplest thing you can do is agree with everybody that everyone is to clean after themselves after using a space. Make sure you go into specifics, whether it’s how the sink should be left after cooking, the shower, the toilet, and even the couch after a movie night. A good idea here would also be for everyone to pitch in for cleaning supplies, so they are everyone’s to use.
And don’t forget to agree on a day for deep-cleaning places like as the fridge, the bathroom, where you can all participate. This will help to up-keep the overall cleanliness and make it easier to maintain for everyone involved.
Another idea would be to make a cleaning rota, yet these are rarely followed if you make it by yourself or work with everyone’s busy schedule. Do consult with your housemates to find out what chores they do not mind doing, this way they are more likely to do be done if your fellow students find them easy.
Privacy
For example, if a door to someone’s bedroom is shut then knock before entering and do not be too offended if you can hear them yet they do not open the door, sometimes people need time to themselves, or you might just be knocking at a bad moment.
If something does arise within the household that annoys you, it’s important that you pick your battles and only really raise an issue if it truly has upset you. There’s no point raising an issue and possibly upsetting the whole household, just to wake up the next morning and not be that fussed anymore. Spend some time on it, as people we’re often quick to fire up but after cooling down we realise it wasn’t actually that big of a deal. The stress of being a student and away from home can also cause people to have big reactions to small things. If you notice yourself or another housemate struggling with this, maybe advice in dealing with stress might just solve your problem.
The Forbidden Act: Stealing Drinks
The ultimate faux pas, do not steal alcohol.
Being a pretty precious, sacred and rather expensive commodity to students, the stealing of alcohol is usually a step too far and arguments will definitely ensue. If you do want to party with your house-mates, a good idea is to either buy your own drinks or pitch in together, so that you can share.
Manners Make the House
Leaving rubbish and mess around is not just inconsiderate, it’s downright rude. Your housemates shouldn’t have to clean up after you, and vice-versa, so always tidy up after yourself. Encourage others to follow suit to maintain a pleasant living environment.
Avoid passive-aggressive notes. While they may seem like an easy way to express frustration, they often annoy more than solve problems. Instead, address issues openly with your housemates in a calm, respectful manner to resolve conflicts quickly and amicably.
Building Bonds
Make an effort to connect with your housemates. Something as simple as propping your door open can signal you’re approachable and ready for a chat. Don’t isolate yourself in your room all day—balance your study time with communal moments. Share meals, watch movies, or just hang out in the kitchen or lounge.
Turn chores into bonding time. Washing dishes? Put on some music and tackle it together. This not only makes the task less tedious but strengthens your relationships.
Take a genuine interest in your housemates’ university courses or hobbies. Not only does this spark great conversations, but it also fosters a supportive and friendly atmosphere. Studying as a group can also make academic work less daunting and more enjoyable.
House Rules and Respect
If you're inviting guests or planning a party, always give your housemates a heads-up. Respect their schedules, especially during exam season, and avoid loud music or disruptive behaviour. Similarly, be mindful of personal space—small gestures like making tea for everyone can go a long way.
Smoking indoors is a major no-no. Even if it’s allowed, step outside to avoid exposing your housemates to unwanted smoke, especially if someone has asthma or other sensitivities. Some people might just not like it for whatever reason and be too shy to say. A good rule of thumb is, only smoke indoors if allowed and if you share the space with other smokers too and it’s agreed upon by everyone involved.
Security Matters
House security is everyone’s responsibility. Always lock the doors when leaving and ensure windows are closed. One careless mistake could lead to theft, causing unnecessary stress and tension within the household.
When Things Go Wrong
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you might not get along with everyone. That’s okay. Politeness, civility, and basic kindness can ensure you maintain a peaceful coexistence. If you feel a genuine connection isn’t possible, follow this advice: “Be friendly without expecting to be best friends.” If you do fall out with your housemates, here’s a quick guide to help you with your next steps to make things better.
For communal purchases like cleaning supplies or toilet rolls, set up a communal money pot. This avoids debates over who should buy what and ensures everyone contributes fairly.
Final Tips
Finding the right balance in shared accommodation is key. From settling on agreeable heating settings to choosing your housemates carefully, every decision contributes to a positive experience. Living with friends can either strengthen bonds or strain relationships, so take time to reflect before committing.
If things go south, don’t despair. Communicating openly and following a few simple strategies can help resolve conflicts. And if all else fails, remember there’s always a solution—whether that’s mediation, switching houses, or checking out options on Accommodation for Students.
By following these tips, you’ll not only survive shared accommodation—you’ll thrive in it.
